


Caught in My Head

by Jalec (Hathly)



Series: Rusted Crowns [1]
Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, As usual proceed at your own risk, Canon-Typical Violence, I think this is my first Soulmate Au., M/M, Minor Jace / Clary, Slow Burn, Soulmates, all things colorless, until you meet your soulmate and all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29160768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hathly/pseuds/Jalec
Summary: Soulmates sucks.Soulmates with amber coloured eyes, named Jace Wayland sucks.(Let's face it, I don't even try making a decent summary for these stuffs)
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Series: Rusted Crowns [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149398
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	Caught in My Head

**Author's Note:**

> Whazzup my babies  
> This is a shout out to the wonderful person that left me a wonderful comment on one of my stories.
> 
> I consider my works trash but I am still happy that someone out there likes them. 
> 
> Also, I'm surprised you clicked on this, despite the summary.

* * *

**NOW**

Soulmates sucks. 

Soulmates with amber coloured eyes, named Jace Wayland sucks. 

  
  
Alec stared at the grand piano sitting in the middle of the room. He hasn’t really played it in a long time, his hands felt the smooth varnish of the wood painted in black and smiled. 

Black. 

He closed his eyes - welcoming the memories of Amber eyes that haunted him every time he does. 

“It’s still here.” 

He froze, he knew that voice well enough - two years wouldn’t have really done anything for you to forget the voice of your soulmate, especially when you’ve spent your youth listening to it. 

He didn’t turn around, couldn’t if he were really being honest. 

It’s a damn shame. 

In a world where you’ll start to see colors when you’ve met the eyes of your soulmate - For some twisted reason, he started seeing colors when he met Jace Wayland’s eyes when he transferred to his class back in 10th grade. 

For some twisted reason, Jace never did. 

It’s a damn fucking shame. 

Jace Wayland was his soulmate. 

It would have been perfect, except - he wasn’t Jace’s soulmate. 

He gripped the edge of the piano before opening his eyes and bracing himself for the heartache. 

Here we go _again_. 

_Here_ we are again. 

.

.

.

**THEN**

For what seems to be the hundredth time that day, Alexander Lightwood lets out a sigh. It was only nine am, and things could only go downhill from there. 

He’s heard of the new guy in school, how everyone wanted to meet this guy and look into his eyes and for some magical reason, they’d be soulmates. 

Because, the notion of finding your soulmate when you’re in 10th grade just - appeals to every kid. Especially when just last week a boy from his class found his soulmate and finalize the registry and all the things they’ve needed to file when one found their soulmate. 

And don’t get him wrong - not that he’d admit to it out loud, the idea of a soulmate actually excites him too. What would it be like to see colors? Because aside from reading about it, no one can really describe color in a way that it’ll make sense when everything is by textbook definition ‘black and white’. 

He bit his lips and twirled his pen, ignoring the rush of students as the bell rang. He heard murmurs as the clicking of the heels of their teacher, Mrs. Evertone, enters. “I’m sure you’ll fit in just fine. Alexander can provide you with the reading materials we’ve got for this term.” 

He sighed before turning his attention from the window to the pair standing in front of the class. 

He doesn’t even know why he’s part of the welcoming committee. “Alexander dear raise your hand so Jace here can see you.” 

Alec looks to her and to the boy next to her. The boy was wearing a dark shirt, dark jeans – a vibrant color something on lace and eyes that captivated him. If Alec were to guess, the boy is what would call a cliché bad boy - he raised his hand just in time for his eyes to raise to put a face to the picture. 

It was every damn thing the books had described and more. 

When his eyes turned to meet Jace’s, the world seems to have frozen and it wasn’t gradual, the colors, it was, it was sudden. 

One moment, in the blink of an eye, everything has colors and it was magical. 

Shit. 

His eyes remain wide and Jace just turned to their teacher thanking the woman before he moves to find a seat. 

Alec blinked. 

What 

The 

Fuck 

He felt his arms give, hitting the table with a loud bang and himself wincing at both the sound and pain that follows. 

“Are you alright there, Alexander?” His teacher turned to him in concern he nodded automatically. 

What the fuck, really. 

He was shaking now but kept his cool. He turned to look outside and started to look at Everything. 

So that is what green is. 

He sneaked a glance at Jace who, just in time looked up at him and gave a nod. He forces himself to look away. 

What was the color of his soulmate’s eyes? 

. 

. 

. 

Amber. 

Alec decides there and then that his favorite color is Amber. He flipped through the book of colors, search for the color that matches Jace’s eyes. There weren’t many things and is colored Amber it makes Jace unique. 

The high of seeing colors faded quickly though. He spent the day, meeting Jace’s eyes but the blonde had no signs whatsoever that he sees what Alec saw. 

Life hates him. 

It’s not him being dramatic but by the end of the day, it’s cemented that he wasn’t Jace’s soulmate even though he was Alec's. 

Alec wanted to scream and punch something. 

When the bell rang, he hurriedly packs his stuff and was about to bolt Jace stood in front of his chair. “Alexander right?” 

Alec nodded, not finding his voice. 

“Would you mind just emailing me the reading materials?” Jace pulled out a piece of paper dropping it at Alec’s table. 

Alec nods again, taking the piece of paper as he stood up. “I’ll send it to you later.” 

He was shaking again and he wasn’t sure why it hurts but it just that it does. He can feel his chest squeeze. He wasn’t going to try, was he? 

God damn it. 

He bolted out of the room, not bothering to look at Jace again. 

. 

. 

. 

“You don’t like me much do you?” He didn’t need to look up - he knew it was Jace. He spent most of his time listening to Jace have a conversation with everyone. Everyone, except him. The guy was the center of everyone’s attention. 

The guy was perfect, charming albeit at times cocky but it just hurts looking at him. 

Whoever was going to be Jace’s soulmate was one lucky person. 

“Oh don’t take it personally. Alexander doesn’t really like anyone.” Matilda, one of the girls, pipes in, and Alec throws her a blank look. 

“Hey, I’m not like just anyone.” Jace grinned, and Alec doesn’t really need to be a part of this conversation does he? Jace took the seat in front of Alec. “Seriously, did I do something for you to hate me or?” 

Alec shook his head. “No. We just don’t have things to talk about.” 

“Ah,” Jace said thoughtfully. “I’m sure, we’ll find something. I’ve seen you around the piano down the music hall, haven’t really heard you play though. Do you play?” 

Alec shook his head. He likes that piano because it was studded with 3 amber gems that remind him of Jace’s eyes. “Cool, I do - if you want you I can probably teach you a thing or two.” 

“Why?” 

“I dunno. It just seems like we could be friends. I think I want to be your friend. Haven’t really had many friends.” 

“Really?” Alec deadpanned, gesturing around. 

“Nah, I’ve decided I want to be your friend. We can be friends right?” 

And who can say no to that? 

“Relax, don’t press the keys too hard.” Jace rolled his eyes. Pressing a C tile. 

Alec opened his mouth and huffs. “I keep on telling you, this is me relax.” 

“It looks like you have a stick stuck up to your ass.” Jace laughs. “I swear you’ll get this one.” 

“Can we just go back to the easy ones?” Alec complains because his piece is a little complicated. 

“Are you kidding?” 

“You’ve only been teaching me for like a year now. I’m not going to suddenly be a master at this.” 

“Oh boohoo. Just continue playing.” 

“You know, when you offered to teach me, you made it sound fun. This is torture.” 

“There’s only one spot in this team for a dramatic person and I’ve got that taken already. Quit whining and start pressing.” 

“You call it team.” Alec huffs but continued pressing waiting for Jace’s cue. 

Alec would like to claim that he spent the year to get over Jace but if he were really being honest - being a friend with the guy just fucking sealed the deal. 

Because, Jace was, despite the popularity, always around Alec. They’ve practically grown inseparable from one moment to the next. It wasn’t gradual, like the colors that splash Alec when the first met Jace, it was just there. 

He blinked and Jace was like a limb, a part of Alec that’s always been there and vice versa. 

It would have been easy if Jace didn’t act like his life doesn’t revolve around Alec and Alec was not sure it wasn’t just wishful thinking but Jace had made it a point to spend all his waking hours with Alec. 

He still has not told a single soul he sees colors. 

“Hello to Alec?” Jace tried to get his attention. “Dude, press!” 

Alec laughs. “Sometimes, really, your voice is a part of my subconscious now. You’ve just got to talk and talk.” 

“Well if not, you’d be lost to your mind again.” Jace nudges him, as his hands went to the piano keys. 

Jace was a majestic piano player and Alec was not being biased. 

Alec rolled his eyes. “I don’t get -“ 

“Lies.” Jace tutted. “But that’s is what I’m here for.” 

. 

. 

. 

“Jace.” 

“Not now Alec!” Jace snapped but Alec couldn’t find in him to feel anything but concern. 

He couldn’t get mad at Jace shouting at him when he knows that his best friend is hurting. He sat next to Jace, trying to catch his breath as he ran when he’s heard of the news. 

Jace’s mother had passed. 

“It’s not like we have a good relationship but” 

Alec kept quiet. 

“She’s still my mother.” 

Alec opened his arms taking Jace in. “I know.” 

“It’s just not fair.” 

Alec nodded. “It’s alright, I’m here. Not going anywhere.” 

They were seniors now, a few months away from graduation and Alec had, okay - he’d plan his life around Jace. Making sure they’d be going to the same university and all. 

He wasn’t going to ever admit it to anyone. 

Jace lets out a choking sound before the guy, the man - Alec loves crumbles inside his arms. 

. 

. 

. 

“What do you mean?” Alec has got his hand on his waist as his eyes track Jace, who was busy chatting with other teens from their class. 

“Alec.” 

“We’re fine.” 

“Really?” Izzy asked - sighing. 

“He’s just pissed at me cause I dragged him home last night.” 

“You’ve been doing that pretty much lately.” Izzy pointed out. “I’m just worried.” 

“Look, I love Jace but he’s different, and sure I fully support this weird thing you’ve got going with him but that’s only because he gives as much as he’s got when it comes to you.” Izzy handed him a beer. “But he’s not, not anymore.” 

“We’re friends Izzy. He’s in a rough patch.” Granted it’s been months and Uni classes are about to start. Uni classes that Jace decided he doesn’t want anymore. 

Alec tried his best to convince Jace otherwise, in fact, they’ve fought a lot about it Because neither of them knows how to back down. 

He looked down when Jace’s started whispering to the red-headed girl, Clary. This was new too, Jace and his - Alec doesn’t really know what to call it. 

Except he hates it, the way things shifted between them. He gritted his teeth. 

“He’s dragging you down with him. Everyone, everyone who’s not found their soulmates are moving out of this town to find their match because obviously, they’re not here but you - yours staying.” Izzy kicked the rubble. 

“I’m not really into the whole soulmate thing.” 

“You used to be. I know you pretend otherwise but you used to read a lot about it.” Izzy sighed sadly. “You’ve given that up because of Jace and frankly he’s not worth it now.” 

“Hey!” He called out because that’s still Alec’s best friend. 

“Think about it, okay?” Izzy clicked her beer to his. “I’m just worried.” 

And If only Izzy knew. 

. 

. 

. 

By the time the crowd started to disperse, Jace had yet again managed to slip out of Alec’s sight. 

“God damn fine.” He muttered. It’s not like he wants to continue mother henning Jace. 

He walked about the camp, he’s got Jace’s car keys with him. He proceeded to where they’ve parked earlier finding Jace leaning on the hood. 

He felt relief for a second before he saw Jace's face, a bruise forming on the lips. “What the fuck.” 

“You should see the other guy.” Jace grinned. And yes, Alec should see the other guy and probably kill him for what he’s done. “Kidding, clary’s boyfriend.” 

“Jesus, the fuck is wrong with you Jace.” 

“She told me she doesn’t have one.” Jace rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t have -“ 

“Alright fine. Let’s just get you home.” 

“Aren’t you tired, Alec?” 

“I’m beat, I just want to go home.” Alec walked around the car and going into the driver seat. 

“Of me. I mean.” Jace looked at him as they both had the door open. 

“Not really.” Alec shrugged. 

“You should be.” 

“Just get in the damn car, Jace.” 

. 

. 

. 

“He’s outback. He’s with clary though.” Raphael, one of Jace's co-workers said as he walked into the auto repair shop Jace was working at. 

He sighed. “Really.” 

“You know the drill.” That being Clary broke up with her boyfriend, yet again, and is hooking up with Jace. 

A year into this thing, Alec should really be over it now. 

“Is he worth this?” Raphael asked from here he was painting a car Neón pink. 

“Yes,” Alec said without hesitation. “He’s not a bad friend, he was better when we were in high school but he’s still a good friend now.” 

“Ah, him being a good friend worth the pain you’re feeling every time?” Raphael pinned him a look. “You should try to move on.” 

“There’s nothing really to move on from.” He shrugged. 

Raphael shook his head blindly reaching for the spray paint, missing the pink one, and was about to spray orange when Alec reacted. “Wrong color.” 

Raphael looked confused for a bit as he looked on to the tool in his hand - dramatically freezing and dropping it by accident. 

Alec froze too. 

“Motherfucker.” Raphael cursed as the paint splashed on to the tiles. 

Alec bit his lips. 

“You’ve met your soulmate,” Raphael confirmed. “When? Congratulations kid.” 

“Congratulations to what?” Jace walked in and Alec panicked. 

“Kid -“ 

“I got the marks to pass a full scholarship next year.” He blurts out and Jace smiled. 

“Woah. I knew it. Told you so.” Jace walked over to him, resting his arms around Alec, who was shaking. 

Clary walked out a few seconds later, nodding at them before walking out of the shop. 

Raphael and Alec continued starring at each other. Alec begging the other not to say anything. 

“Later.” He mouthed and Raphael nodded. 

. 

. 

. 

Alec: where are you? 

He looked at the clock on the wall, Jace has now been an hour late. 

The blonde promise that he’ll make up to Alec as he’d missed every damn movie night they’ve planned. 

It’s his birthday and it just so happen it falls on a Sunday night. Alec wouldn’t admit if it but they’ve been drifting apart - and he’s been growing tired of the effort he’s been giving to keep Jace part of his life when it seems that the other just doesn’t care enough. 

He’s in 2nd year now and premedical courses are killing him but he tries his best to invest time. 

Apparently, he’s not capable of keeping his soulmate, even as just a friend. 

Jace: sorry, can’t make it. Will make it up next time. Clary’s coming over. 

Alec blinked. 

And wow. 

There weren’t really any words to describe what he's feeling. He stared at the screen of his phone. 

“Fuck you.” He kicked the table in front of him. 

Alec: alright. Next Sunday. 

. 

. 

. 

Alec didn’t plan the night that Sunday or the next that follows after. He busies himself with school work and hasn’t really seen Jace in a few weeks. 

The blond text and call but since Alec is staying at the dorms now, they haven’t had much time to hang out. 

And Alec thinks it’s for the better. 

Knows it will be. 

. 

. 

. 

“Are you avoiding me?” Jace drops in one weekend, he was spending his time in his house with his family. 

He and Izzy were in the living room when the blonde walked in. Izzy just looked at them and excused himself. 

“No,” Alec said truthfully, it’s not like he’s made his way to purposely avoid Jace but he stopped the effort. 

“And you haven’t been over the shop in a month because?” Jace raised a brow as he dropped on the couch next to Alec. 

Alec rolled his eyes. “I was there last week, rap-“ 

“Yeah, before you continue that sentence. You were there because ?” Jace stopped. 

The question was clear, Alec had not been there for Jace. He swallowed hard. Alec keeps his mouth shut. 

“Good to know.” Jace sighed. 

“What do you want me to say?” Alec was tired and frankly whatever emotion he’s had about the drift between him and Jace had long passed. “I’m not avoiding you. Okay? I’ve just been busy.” 

“It’s not something I did is it?” Jace asked. 

Alec shook his head. Not something you did, something. You’re doing. “Nah, just college.” 

“You sure?” 

Alec nodded. “Sorry.” 

“It’s alright man. I was just worried I did something To pissed you off and you’ve been stewing anger.” 

Alec laughed. 

“Seriously. You’re one mean bitch when you’re pissed.” 

. 

. 

. 

“Alexander Lightwood.” Alec forced his eyes away from the colorful spinning wheel decoration of the local diner. “Pretty right? I love the way the blue just burst.” 

“Yeah - the purp-“ Alec stopped himself. “Sorry, Uh -“ 

“Secrets safe with me.” The guy grinned at him. 

“Do I know you?” 

“Magnus Chase. We went to high school together. Not that I’d expect you to remember me, with Wayland monopolizing your time then.” The guy grinned. “Not seeing him anywhere now though. What can I get you?” 

“Actually-“ yes Alec had been here a couple of times the past few weeks without Jace but Jace was 

“Alec,” Jace called as the blond enters the diner. 

“Spoke too early I see,” Magnus commented as Jace sat next to Alec. “Wayland, one day you’ll have to share Alec with the rest of us. It’s not fair keeping all this pretty to yourself.” 

Jace scoffs and Alec blushed and glared. “What?” 

Jace shook his head. “Bane, I got him through high school without sharing. Not planning to start soon.” 

“I reckon, his soulmate would walk in and you still wouldn’t share him.” Magnus rolled his eyes. 

“Will, you just take our order now?” 

. 

. 

. 

“I like pink best.” Magnus grinned as he served the orders. Handing Alec a strawberry pink shake, which was not his order but the thing had no label and Jace wouldn’t know. Magnus winked at him before walking away. 

“Show off,” Jace muttered. 

“What’d you mean?” 

“He can see colors, found his soulmate when he was a kid from what I hear and he likes pointing colors.” Jace shrugged. 

“You seem to know him.” 

“Yea only because he asked about you a few times.” 

“He asked about me?” Alec frowned. “Why?” 

“Just finished your food Alec and tell me about your physics professor.” 

They weren’t really quite stitch upright yet, Alec was still not doing anything other than following blindly when Jace asks him to hang out. He never really makes an effort to invite Jace out as Clary has been spending time with Jace too. 

He just doesn’t get that - Jace would cancel on him at times but then again he never really had to share Jace before. 

. 

. 

. 

He started hanging out around Magnus. The guy was fun to be with, it was nice to have someone whom he can talk with that knows about how he can see colors. 

He didn’t have to tell Magnus anything but he did tell him, about how Jace was the one that triggered the colors. 

Somehow Magnus knew. 

They’ve been laughing about a video when Magnus looked at thin and the clock. “Darling, I’m sorry but don’t you have a thing with Jace.” 

He stopped and looked at the clock. He’s 15 minutes late and counting. 

Shit. 

“I’m - fucked.” 

“Nah, you’re not. He’s probably worried though.” Magnus smiled. Alec pulled his phone up, there was a couple of text and miss calls. 

“Jace. Sorry, I’m on my way right now.” 

. 

. 

. 

“Dude, I told you it’s fine. “ Jace shook his head and pats Alec. 

Jace had waited weeks to book an appointment with the tattoo artist, Alec promised he’d be there and Jace refused to get started until Alec had been. 

He had to give up the appointment when Alec was a no show for 15 mins. “It’s not, you should have just.” 

“It’s fine really. I know your busy and all. I’ll just get it next time.” 

Ah shit. He should tell Jace the truth but it felt as if he were admitting to cheating which was definitely not the case as he doesn’t even like Magnus that way. 

“Come on, how bout we see what movie we can watch.” 

Alec tried to smile as Jace lead him to the local Teather house. 

. 

. 

. 

“You got your tattoo.” Alec walked in pissed, there was only Jace in the car shop. Jace looked at him the shrugged. 

Alec was pissed as he bumps into clary who was excitedly talking about how she wants a tattoo as she saw Jace with one. He stood defiantly as Jace puts the welding tool down. 

“Yeah. The other day.” Jace shrugged. 

“I thought I was-“ 

“You were with Magnus.” 

“And how-“ 

“Alec, the other time, the first one. You came late because you were with him. I thought you were just busy with school work but no.” 

Alec opened his mouth to defend himself. 

“It took me weeks to get that appointment and I was excited and I wanted you to be there but I rank below this thing you gave with Magnus.” 

“This thing I have with Magnus?” 

“Alec, I have been trying my best to -“ Jace sighed. “Fix whatever fuck up I did to us but Magnus -“ 

“Magnus is out of this conversation. You don’t hear me dragging your thing with Clary do you?” 

“What does that mean?” 

“What do you think it means?” 

“Damn it, Alec.” Jace stalked forward. “What the fuck do you mean?” 

“Like you don’t know already?” 

“What?” 

“Every since Clary, we haven’t really -“ 

“Jesus fuck Alec. I’ve asked you months ago if it were something I did and you flat out told no.” Jace snapped. “Despite that, I’ve still been my ass off to get you to hang around with me.” 

“Maybe I’m done hanging around with you. Got used to not having you around that it doesn’t really matter if you’re -“ Alec stopped himself but the damage was done. 

Jace looked at him like he didn’t know who Alec was and nodded. 

“Jac-“ 

“Got it.” 

“Jace.” Alec reach out only for Jace to back up and stalked out of the shop just in time for Raphael to walked in. 

“Jace, do you-“ Raphael started by Jace just brush past him. 

Alec meets Raphael’s eyes. 

Well shit. 

. 

. 

. 

“I fucked up.” Alec stared at his phone, he’s been over at Jace’s place but the blond was not there. He hasn’t seen Jace since yesterday and Alec was close to losing his mind.

“Relax. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Magnus tried to comfort him, he had gone to the diner and Magnus took one look at him before he was ushered out the back alley.

“You didn’t hear what I said. I practically told him I don’t want him around.” 

“I’m sure he knows that’s not true.” 

A few months ago, Jace would have known but the way things were between them now, Alec knew, even if he didn’t mean it, it might as well be the truth to Jace. 

When he pressed his phone to his ear, his calls have now gone through voice mail. “Jace, please answer the phone. I’m sorry. Just talk to me.” 

Alec was crying now, and Magnus was holding him. 

“That man loves you, he’ll be fine. He’ll be back pissed but he’ll still love you.” 

“I- he’s my best friend.” Alec chocked out. 

“He’s much more than that and he knows it too. He’s not much of an airhead you know” Magnus shrugged.

“I think you just complimented him.” Alec lets out a laugh.

  
“Don’t tell him that – He’s already got a big head.”

  
  
“Like you don’t like his ambered colored eyes as much as I do?”

“Only because it’s rare.”

.

.

.

“Alec. Did Jace find you?” Izzy rushed as he entered their house. He looked back at Izzy with bloodshot eyes.

  
“Find me?”  
  
  
“He was here, earlier – you both looked wrecked. Told him you were looking for him too, and you might be at Magnus’s diner-“ Izzy continued but Alec has already had his phone up to his ear.

“Jace where are you?” He said as soon as the voice mail message finished.

  
  
He was out and running to Jace’s workplace. Raphael was waiting on him there. “Where’s he?”  
  
“Alec, calm down.”

  
  
“I can’t I need to talk to him.”

  
  
“Alec.”

  
  
“What?”

  
  
“He – ah Jesus kid. I’m going to kill Jace for doing this to you.”

  
  
“Doing what? Raphael, I need to know where he is, I have – I can’t. “ He was frantic now, the look – the defeated look Raphael was giving him was not helping.

Raphael walked over to the counter, pulled out a piece of paper.

  
“He’s – he.” Raphael’s choked out. “I couldn’t stop him. I tried, he wouldn’t listen. He told me, he told me you’ll be fine.”

  
  
Alec reached for the paper that was being handed to him with shaking hands.

_  
Alec,_

_I am sorry._

_I am happy for you. I am sorry you felt the need to hide the fact that you found your soulmate and so self-absorbed to actually notice that you’ve had. Should have known it, prided me for being the only person that actually knows you yet I’ve missed that. Figures why you don’t really want me anymore. I wish I can apologize for everything but I can’t, you’ve been the highlight of my life and I do not regret it one bit._

_Maybe one day, we’ll see each other again and I’ll be a better friend, one you actually deserve. Maybe you’ll be married by then and I’ll learn how to actually share you._

_Right now, I can’t and I am sorry. You’re going to be fine. Let me be selfish for the last time._

_Yours,  
Jace. _

.

.

.

The year passed without Alec mechanically going through it. He had gotten his grades as high as he could, go to classes, study and go to the dorm to sleep. He’d practically dropped of life the moment he realizes there had been no other way for him to find Jace.

  
One thing became apparent, Jace’s life – no one really did knew Jace as much as Alec did. He realized that no one else had any means of contacting Jace. Jace’s life in this town revolved around Alec as much as Alec revolved around it.  
  
It much worse for Jace because Alec, had his family but Jace had none. Now that he’s looking at it, even Clary stood no chance.

And maybe Alec didn’t really have Jace the way he’d want to, in definition, but he’s had Jace in every way possible. Every way Jace was capable of sharing himself – Alec had that.  
  
He breezes through his premed course without so much as a care.

  
.

.

.

**Now**

Alec had often thought of how he would react to seeing Jace again. He figured he’d just break down, and cry and beg the blond not to do it again – that he’s got things wrong.  
  
He figured he’d be to stand to react but every damned night he promised he’d tell Jace the truth if only Jace would give him the chance too.  
  
He didn’t imagine he’d be throwing a punch.  
  
Not in million years.

  
  
He’d turned around, take one look at Jace's smug face, and would want to smash it but that’s what he did.

“Ow! Ouch!” He shook his hand, reeling from the pain from hitting Jace. Jace staggered back but stood straight.

  
“Really? Really?” Jace looked at him incredulously. “Only you can hit someone and ended up getting hurt. Dumbass.”

  
  
“You are-“

  
  
“A jerk, I know.” Jace sighed, gesturing. “Give me your hand, let me check if you’ve broken it.”  
  
“I am not-“

  
Jace rolled his eyes taking a step forward and taking Alec’s hand. “Next time, brace your thumb and hit with your knuckles.”

  
“You're an asshole.” Alec looked at him completely baffled. “The fuck are you doing here anyway?”

  
“Your sister hits harder than you. I’d know she hit me too.” Jace cocked his head. “I’m not gonna find Magnus hitting me too, am I?”

  
“Izzy hit you?” Alec shook his hand away and tilted Jace head. “Magnus will kick your ass.”

  
  
Jace averted his head after looking into Alec’s eyes. “It’s fine, I deserve it anyway. Apparently when people miss me, they hit me.”

  
  
“I hate you.”

  
Jace gave a sad smile and shook his head, pulling at Alec, hugging him. Alec couldn’t breathe, he wasn’t sure if it were because of the tightness of the hug or just him altogether. Alec tried to push Jace off, his fist curled on the blond’s chest. “ I hate you – I hate- hate you.”

  
  
“I know.” Jace hushed. “I know.”

  
  
“I hate you so fucking much.” His tears were dripping non-stop now, Jace's head was resting on his shoulder. “I hate you.”

  
  
“I know you do. Jesus Alec, I hate myself too.” Jace chuckled but the voice is breaking.

“You don’t just get to walk in my life and situate your life as if nothing happened. You were gone for two years and you didn’t even bother to leave as much as a sign that you’re alive!” He pushed Jace.

  
  
“I know, just – just let me have this okay?” Jace gripped him harder. “I’ll grovel later.”

.

.

.

  
“I suck at apologies, so.” Jace approached him later that night. The whole night of the reunion Alec had made it to a point to avoid Jace. Avoidance doesn’t really mean that Alec had taken his eyes of him to make sure that Jace had not gone again.  
  
Jesus, two years and he’s still twisted. Soulmate sucks and Alec wasn’t really sure it was the soulmate thing or just a Jace and his thing.  
  
Jace on his part made sure, to be at least 10 feet from Alec at any time. The only time, the blond disappeared on him was when – Magnus all but dragged Alec to one of the rooms asking if they should knife the blonde.  
  
He shook his head and went out of the room after Magnus had made sure he was fine. Jace was waiting on him in the hallway. “I suck at it, so – here goes, unfuck you?”  
  
Alec looked at him disbelievingly but lets out a laugh.  
  
“Ah, there it is. Though I’m not capable of making you smile anymore.” Jace pinned him a look.  
  
“Jace fucking Wayland.”  
  
“It’s Herondale actually.” Jace smiled. “Jonathan Herondale”  
  
“What? You’re telling me you’ve gone and hitch without so much –“ Alec raised his hand in frustration and defeat. “You know what – I am not even surprised.”  
  
“Alec, no Jesus, calm down.” Jace reached for his wrist. “I found my father. He wanted me to take the family name and all.”  
  
“Oh.” The fight in Alec had died down. “I – damn. I am happy for you.”

“You, I thought by now – you’d be married with 2.5 kids and a husband or wife.” Jace looked at him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t really stay long enough to meet your pair.”  
  
“Fuck you.” Alec tugged on his own wrist and continued to walk out, through the hallway with Jace following him.  
  
“Alec, hold up.” He ignored the blond, making his way to the music hall.  
  
“Alec. Come on, wait for me.”

  
“Fuck you!” Alec shouts, not really minding a few heads turning their way.  
  
He entered the piano room, Jace hot on his heels.

“Alec.”

  
  
“No really fuck you. If you would have just asked me. I would have told you. “ No one knew, at least. He tugged Jace in and slammed the door behind them. “So, fuck you for leaving, you kept on saying you ‘couldn’t’ – you could have stayed Jace. No one was asking you to share me with anyone.”  
  
“You gonna deny the fact that didn’t tell me you see colors then?” Jace snapped at him. “I keep saying I _couldn’t_ because really – I couldn’t watch anyone take you from me. Don’t _you_ get that? When I met you and got to know you, I kept on praying that you don’t get to meet your soulmate. Do you know how selfish was that? I was a kid but it didn’t really go away, In fact, I’ve gone on the deep and _fell_ for you. I’ve wished that I wouldn’t meet my soulmate if it meant that I’d have to leave you because frankly even I _wouldn’t_ have traded you with anything and it would be unfair to them. I would have settled not knowing how blue your eyes are if it meant we can continue being us. ”  
  
“What?”  
  
Jace paced around the room, Alec was leaning on the door. “Yeah, imagine that – your eyes are actually really _blue_. I mean my mom had always told me so but actually seeing it for myself was different. Took my fucking breath away.”  
  
“Jace.”  
  
“No, listen.” Jace raised his palm. “You think I can bear you looking at anyone else? I’ve thought, that maybe, it was just like me – hell I don’t even know what the fuck is wrong me. Supposed that I would have seen colors the first time I’ve seen you but know, took me years didn’t it? Took one good look at you the night my mom died and there- blue eyes, black hair, red fucking shirt, blue jeans.”  
  
“Black shirt.”  
  
“What?” Jace looked at him confusedly. Because Alec might still be in shock but he’s got the gist of the speech. The fucker left him because, he thought that Alec had gotten himself a soulmate, someone other than him.

  
“Dark blue Jeans” Alec pushed forward, Jace stood in the middle of the room.  
  
“I’m not sure-“  
  
“White shoes, red laces. Blonde hair and color I had to check and compare 3 books to find out what it was because it was my favorite color then. Amber, the color of your eyes. ” Alec finishes, tugging at Jace’s hair. “You got it right, I see colors but you’ve got the time wrong. You god damn asshole, I’ve seen colors the first time I’ve laid my eyes on yours.”  
  
With that Alec pressed his lips down to Jace, Jace gripped his shirt pulling at him. And it hurts, it every good way. Maybe soulmates don’t really suck at all.

  
Okay maybe sometimes it does soulmate sucks and it is awesome at the same time.  
  


Soulmates with amber coloured eyes, named Jace Herondale sucks. 

  
  



End file.
